Dear Reader,
When I wrote God's Sandbox, I had an audience of one watching me. I'd like to
sound really spiritual and tell you that it was Jesus watching me - nodding his
head in approval of each keystroke. But it wasn't Jesus. It was my Ozzy
Osbourne bobble-head doll that sits on top of my iMac watching me work.
When I first started to write this book, I wanted to change Christian doctrine,
change the dogmas of organized religion, and show people which of their beliefs
were wrong. I wanted to fix the misconceptions around me to create the perfect
world that would suit my beliefs so that I'd be comfortable, never challenged,
always knowing that I believed the right things to get me into heaven. Put
differently, I didn't want to think for myself or deal with other people's ideas.
So I found myself taking a lot of time evaluating what beliefs I had. What were
the foundational ways of the universe that I could claim as my own? And which
of my beliefs were fanciful ideas that did nothing more than turn me into a
sentimental fool waiting for God to step up to the plate to correct what needed
correcting in this world? Most importantly, what things would open doors for
people instead of pointing out that single, definitive, and proverbial spiritual path
that I'm not sure exists? I'm still trying to figure a lot of this out, but there are at
least two things I know for sure. First, the human race is far from what it could
be. And second, God must have an incredible love for us in order to accept us
where we are at.
But even talking about what seems to be the remaining foundation of my beliefs
seems too close to the sermons I was subjected to growing up - sometimes
three to four times a week. And so, while this book started as a gargantuan
soapbox on which I could stand and deliver my holier than thou bragadaccio, I
finally realized through many hard lessons, that I was not in a position to tell
people what to believe about God.
And the Ozzy bobble head? Truth be told, I am in awe of Ozzy Osbourne. I
love Ozzy because he reminds me that even amongst all things bad, there is
every once in a while slivers of good that shine through every life. Pressing the
button on my bobble head doll, Ozzy says of his children, "I love you all! I love
you more than life itself! But you're all fucking mad!" I think God thinks that of us
- although as a father I can't help but think that Ozzy should have added, "Now
get your fucking act together!"
I wrote God's Sandbox for people like Ozzy, who display knowingly or not, this
primer of theological truth - that we are all capable of evil and therefore only a
God of grace can want us. There is no pretense or pride with such a simple truth
as this. No desire to impress God. We are who we are and God can handle it,
I'm sure. Perhaps our only job is to simply do what we're called to do, which is
to love God and love others - so simple in theory, yet difficult in application.
Who knows... Maybe if we simply try a little harder to be who we know
ourselves to be, everything else will fall into place.
I hope you enjoy visiting God's Sandbox.
Jonathon Lawrence
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